For it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot.
And the Spirit said unto me: Behold, what desirest thou?
And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw.
And the Spirit said unto me: Believest thou that thy father saw the tree of which he hath spoken?
And I said: Yea, thou knowest that I believe all the words of my father.
And when I had spoken these words, the Spirit cried with a loud voice, saying: Hosanna to the Lord, the most high God; for he is God over all the earth, yea, even above all. And blessed art thou, Nephi, because thou believest in the Son of the most high God; wherefore, thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired.” – 1 Nephi 11:1-6
Quick background: Lehi had just recounted his vision of the tree of life. Nephi had listened to and accepted what his father saw, but he didn’t completely understand it. He pondered it, and he believed that the Lord would help him to understand. As Nephi went to the Lord, he had an experience with the Spirit: Nephi saw the vision of the tree of life, he saw what it meant, and he received many other wonderful prophecies.
This was because he believed.
What does this have to do with missionary work? Well, here you go: Do I believe? Do I believe that the Lord will allow me to share the gospel with those whom I dearly love? I don’t expect others to believe what I say, but how do they have that choice if I’ve never even say it? They ought to know, at the very least, that I have a testimony.
Nephi believed in Christ and received the answer to his desire.
What, really, is my desire? I’m figuring that out still, but for now I think I could say my desire is to be able to express my testimony in a way that is not compromised. My desire is to share my testimony with my loved ones, and that the Holy Ghost will carry it to their hearts. Of course, I cannot choose whether or not they accept my testimony, but I can at least pray that I share it with the Spirit – so they have the opportunity.
So that’s my desire – now, I just need to be like Nephi: Believe in Christ, Ask in Faith, Trust in God.
Now that I think about it – there are some people with whom I want to share the gospel (so much!). I love them so much. And, you know, I can trust in God – He loves them even more than I do.